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Posts Tagged ‘2010 NFL Draft’

Last night’s NFL Draft was gripping television to watch – especially if you TiVo’d the coverage on NFL Network so you could fast forward every time Michael Irvin opened his mouth.

The first 3 picks offered no surprises, but when sharp-dressed, gentle-tongued Gerald McCoy begin crying uncontrollably after being drafted 3rd overall by the Tampa Bay Bucs it proved two things – he’s too soft to be a great player in this league and that he’s going to fall in love with every stripper who gives him a lap dance at Mons Venus.

After that the surprises went from mild (Williams over Okung at 4; Berry over Okung at 5) to the wild (Cal’s DT Tyson Alualu going at 10 to the Jags – NICE CALL AND NICER SUIT MIKE MAYOCK!; San Diego trading up to 12 for Ryan Mathews – was he really going to go that high?) to the strange (San Francisco trading up 2 spots to draft high-ceiling, low-work ethic Anthony Davis when neither of the 2 teams they jumped ahead of – Denver and Miami – would seemingly have any intention of drafting him).

But of course the biggest story was that of Tim Tebow, once again managing to steal the spotlight away from Sam Bradford and Joe Haden and Dez Bryant and even future All-time NFL Sack King Jason Pierre-Paul.

Apparently Denver Bronco coach Josh McDaniel was so hot for Tim Tebow that he couldn’t wait any longer and had to trade up to the 25th pick to grab him.  This led to Tim Tebow whipping out the Bronco cap he’d already bought because he heard a message from God (or more accurately, a text message from McDaniel the day before saying they were going to draft him) and then having another one of those “Ah Shucks, I’m gonna work so gosh darn hard” interviews that made BK call him charming, CK1 call him cute and SK47 vomit on BK’s shirt.

Meanwhile, Jimmy Clausen has to be watching all of this and saying to himself, “Tim Tebow is such a douche.”  Then again, Clausen calling Tebow a douche is a little bit like John Edwards calling Sarah Palin unfaithful and hypocritical.  We haven’t seen a slip like this since Lindsey Lohan’s nipple peaked out of her loose-fitting Old Navy top while she stumbled out of the West Hollywood apartment of the valet she just fucked back in ’04…and ’05..and 06…and ’07 and…okay, you get the joke.

In fact last night Lindsey was so messed up she missed the draft which is a shame because she’s a big Brandon Graham supporter and had him going to the Eagles in her mock.

When a player who was thrown off his team and forgot to bring in his shoes to his own pro day is drafted before you – well then you’ve got problems.  It should teach a lesson to all you young Quarterbacks out there.  If you want to be drafted in the 1st round of the NFL draft, try to avoid the Ryan Leaf and Cade McNown comparisons.

Still Bryant was probably a victim and of the Santonio Holmes/Brandon Marshall nonsense this off-season and if Clausen’s maturity and attitude was that much in question then the Roethlisberger troubles this year probably didn’t help him much either.

So before we take a look at what to expect on Day 2 of the draft, let’s analyze Day 1.

SURPRISES BIG AND SMALL

The rumors were pretty strong that Washington was leaning towards Trent Willams over Russell Okung and as I predicted KC went with Eric Berry over an offensive lineman (I also predicted Derrick Morgan would go 4th and Jimmy Clausen would go 9th so I think I proved myself to be pretty much spot on all night).

The Joe Haden pick at 7 by Cleveland was a mild surprise.  Still if Holmgren didn’t like Clausen and lost out on Berry then a defensive back made sense – so if you have Haden rated higher on your board than Earl Thomas – go for it.

Rolando McClain at 8 was a good pick by the Raiders and allowed us the avoid the annual “Let’s Bash Al Davis” talk at the draft – at least for one day.  It did break the heart of Giants fans, but BK had already braced himself for this inevitability.  Like the time freshman Kimberly Laundau rejected his creepy advances to go out on a date with him.  After she avoided him like teams avoid Notre Dame quarterbacks with attitude, BK had already mentally braced himself that he’d have no date to the Senior Prom.

I love the Bills pick of Spiller even though they still don’t have a QB because really if you’re the Bills what position don’t you need an upgrade from.  The next 3 picks were a bit bizarre – no one had Alaulu rated that high (except the Jags apparently) and then that trade up for Davis which seemed unnecessary followed by the huge move up for Mathews by the Chargers.  Even if they were concerned Seattle would nab him, was he really worth that much draft bling?

Derrick Morgan’s fall was unexpected.  Tennessee supposedly really wanted Graham or Pierre-Paul, but the Georgia Tech outside rusher doesn’t seem like such a bad consolation prize.  And my prediction of the Bulaga fall was right on the money (or at least right on the loose change).

The Cowboys trading up for Dez Bryant wasn’t a huge surprise at that point and it’s likely the Ravens would have nabbed him with the next pick which is interesting if you think about it.  Here Jerry Jones rips Tim Tebow while drinking.  Then he trades up for Bryant – the guy the Ravens probably wanted – allowing the Ravens to trade their pick to the Broncos who take – Tim Tebow.

That’ll be a great story, espcially when both are out of the league by 2014.

You couldn’t really say wide receiver was a need position for the Cowboys, but it’s not like Austin, Crayton and Williams are spectacular so I guess why not.  Still, matching Bryant with Roy Williams – a high-talent, inconsistent player from the Big 12 with questionable work ethic and heart – seems like bad karma.

Then again, karma’s a bitch when you’re in Dallas.

The Dan Williams slip to the Cards at 26 was a mild surprise but overweight guys with reputations of not working that hard don’t seem to get as far as they used to – unless your John Goodman…or Anthony Davis.  However, landing in Arizona may not be the best move for Big Dan as the Cards have been known as the place where defensive lineman go to die.

Interestingly enough, Goodman clocked in a 40 .04 seconds faster than Williams at his Pro Day in that scene.

Finally, I liked all three (3) of the last picks of the draft.  Best to Detroit, Hughes to Indianapolis and Robinson to the Saints.  It’s the best last 3 picks of the draft since…well, Britt, Wells, Hood might turn out all right from last year.

BK-o-METER

Derrick Morgan!  Sean Weatherspoon!  Not Dan Williams!!!.  Those were the calls emanating from BK as the wheels kept turning in his head.  With McClain and Graham off the board (and my refusal to allow him to mention Dez Bryant any longer) BK thought the Giants were going Morgan. “But do we need an end?  I don’t know,” wondered BK allowed.  “What’s an end” chimed in CK1.  “You’re going to see the end of my first upside your head bitch if you don’t shut the fuck up!” yelped out BK in an angry retort.  “Okay, let me just get some more apricots for the mole tacos” and away CK1 went while the Tracinator simply said “Ooooh, child, I can’t go for that, I got fat on my back.”  When thing settled down and BK unpaused the draft and the Giants landed Pierre-Paul, BK was unsure of what to think.   Enthralled by his talent, wary of his experience, unsure of the need.  Like BK’s early fascination with Sam Rockwell, he didn’t know what to make until he saw confessions of “A Dangerous Mind.” It was at that point that he knew Rockwell was a genius and I knew BK was an idiot.  When the NFL Network showed the now legendary Pierre-Paul’s back flips BK stated “That shows me he can do a good spin move”, CK1 stated “That shows me he’s a quick cummer in bed” and SK47 looked up from her weary slumber and simply stated, “They should’ve taken Hughes” and then vomited on BK’s shirt a second time.

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We’re going to play it straight here – like Kevin Spacey did when he took his mom to the Oscars.

So we’re on the clock – this is the 543,149th mock draft on the internet thus far, but here’s the thing kids.  This is the one that counts.  We look at the Mock Draft like NCAA March Madness.  Any man sans his balls could have picked Duke.  But who had the guts to say Butler was making it to the final?  Not me, I actually picked Kansas to play Kentucky.  BUT NO MORE PLAYING IT SAFE.  Carpe Diem friends, let’s mock this fucker up.

ROUND 1

1. St. Louis Rams – Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma

It doesn’t seem as if anyone is going to trade for this pick.  If that’s the case, they either draft Bradford here or they draft Suh or McCoy here and then nab Colt McCoy with the first pick in the 2nd round and that seems highly unlikely.  With A.J. Feeley as their current starting QB on the roster they’ve painted themselves into a corner and sort of have no choice.

2. Detroit Lions – Ndamukong Suh, DT, Nebraska

This is funny in a way because this would be the Matt Millen pick.  Pick the obvious guy with the college credentials.  But Suh is the pick here, I don’t believe they go McCoy or Okung just because Suh is too good.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Gerald McCoy, DT, Oklahoma

It’s been pretty much assumed the Bucs take whichever DT Detroit doesn’t take so this is probably going to happen.

4. Washington Redskins – Derrick Morgan, DE, Georgia Tech

Here’s where it gets interesting.  The general thought is the Skins have to go tackle and it’s a choice between the “safe” pick (Okung) and the high-ceiling riskier pick (T.Willams).  But in Mike Shanahan’s 11 years as coach of the Broncos he only drafted an OL twice in Round 1.  He believes you can “teach” offensive lineman and take a later round pick and make him a player.  His zone block running schemes were never predicated on great tackles and his short passing game also doesn’t seem to point that it’s a must have.  Plus, he basically lost his job in Denver because of the defense and he’s going to want to prove people wrong.  Realistically, the Skins probably want to trade the pick and it’s possible they could.  But Derrick Morgan is rising fast and Shanahan is an arrogant guy who just might want to try and prove again how he’s smarter than everyone else.

5. Kansas City Chiefs – Trent Williams, OT Oklahoma

This is where a mini Okung slip occurs.  Everyone seems to think that Trent Williams has a higher ceiling than Okung.  The question is his work ethic, but compared to someone like Anthony Davis he’s the James Brown of OT’s.  I say the Chiefs decide to take potential and go with Williams.

6. Seattle Seahawks – Eric Berry, S, Tennessee

Clausen isn’t going here because I think they believe Charlie Whitehurst is the heir apparent to Hasselback (and I like Whitehurst too).  They probably want to draft Spiller here but it’s too early.  So why Eric Berry over Okung?  They’re both needs, but don’t forget Carroll – for all the offensive highlight reels at USC – is a defensive guy and that’s where I think he’ll want to build first and have Berry become his Ed Reed.

7. Cleveland Browns – Earl Thomas, S, Texas

Depending on your view, Thomas could go in the top 10…or somewhere after pick 20.  I also don’t think Cleveland goes Clausen here because if they were so hot for him than why not negotiate to trade with the Skins at pick 4 (or just stay put) as opposed to opening up the Rams/Bradford discussion.  Truth is, regardless of the position you can make the case that Thomas is the best player available at this point in an area of need for the Browns.

8. Oakland Raiders – Russell Okung, OT, Oklahoma State

This would be ironic because it’s the Raiders who are always taking the risks on players.  But if Okung falls here I think they probably feel relieved and take him quickly.

9. Buffalo Bills – Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame

I think that Tebow stuff is a smoke screen.  They could go Baluga, D.Williams or Bryant here too and that’s fine but if you’re going to take a chance, take it on Clausen.  I mean they’re going into camp with Brad Edwards battling Ryan FitzPatrick for the starting job.   I haven’t seen a battle that uninspiring since BK was posted up by a 19 year-old girl in a pick-up game outside Silver Lake Rec center.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars – Jason Pierre-Paul, DE, South Florida

It’s an area of need and he’s a local guy.  They’re not taking a chance on another receiver here like Bryant after they’ve been burned so many times before and the Jags coach and GM need to win now so they’ll go with need even if Pierre-Paul is a bit of a project.

11. Denver Broncos – Rolando McClain, ILB, Alabama

They rebuilt the DL with off season acquisitions and now it’s time to go hard with the best ILB in the draft to man the middle.

12. Miami Dolphins – Dan Williams, NT, Tennessee

Parcells might think they can create an atmosphere to inspire Williams, who is big enough and fits a need.

13. San Francisco 49ers – Anthony Davis, OT, Rutgers

It would not shock me if Davis falls completely out of the 1st round.  But they do need an OT, apparently Singletary likes him and thinks he can get through to him and there’s no one else screaming for them here so why not go for it.

14. Seattle Seahawks – C.J. Spiller, RB, Clemson

This would be gift wrapped for Seattle if it happens.  If Spiller is gone here, though, and Dez Bryant is still on the board I think they probably go for it.

15. New York Giants – Sean Weatherspoon, OLB, Missouri

If McClain is gone it seems almost certain the Giants go OLB.  It’s just a matter of Weatherspoon, Kindle, Hughes or Graham (and probably not Graham).  If there’s thought that they’re reaching here and they can’t trade down then you could look at a Joe Haden or even a Jared Odrick if they really like him.  I don’t see Iupati going to the Giants here, it’s not enough of an immediate need.

16. Tennessee Titans – Brandon Graham, OLB/DE, Michigan

They need outside pass rush and better pass coverage on the corners.  It’s either Graham or Haden at this point and it’s really 50/50.

17. San Francisco 49ers – Joe Haden, CB, Florida

Similar to Spiller, a nice player would fall right into the 49ers lap.  However, if Haden goes a pick or two earlier than I don’t necessarily think they go with Kareem Jackson.  I think Pouncey or Iupati could go here (why not) or one of those available OLB’s.  I do think they’d be tempted to discuss Dez Bryant too, but I doubt they pull the trigger.

18. Pittsburgh Steelers – Bryan Bulaga, OT, Iowa

The Steelers are looking to get safe choices and if Bulaga slips down to 18 he would be one.  It’s probably Iupati or Pouncey or even Charles Brown if he doesn’t.

19. Atlanta Falcons – Sergio Kindle, OLB, Texas

Again, I think it’s almost certainly going to be one of the OLB’s it just depends who.  I think they’d go Graham over Kindle if he would be still available.

20. Houston Texans – Jerry Hughes, OLB, TCU

I think the Texans go for a guy like Hughes who could have an impact and is from the state as opposed to a corner although Odrick could fit in here too.

21. Cincinnati Bengals – Jermaine Gresham, TE, Oklahoma

It’s got to be Bryant or Gresham at this point and it’s not like Gresham’s 2009 injury doesn’t make him a risk.  Still, at some point the Bengals have got to get tired of taking chances and how do OchoCinco and Bryant get along?  I say they take Gresham.

22. New England Patriots – Everson Griffin, DE, USC

Another team that would be very tempted on Bryant, but I think they go Griffin here.  They’ve been known to slightly overdraft players and they never really did replace Richard Seymour last year.

23. Green Bay Packers – Kareem Jackson, CB, Alabama

I think when you look at what’s left on the board at this point, Jackson would be the likely pick and he’s fine.  Charles Brown and even Ryan Mathews could come into play here too.

24. Philadelphia Eagles – Mike Iupati, G, Idaho

This pick seems to make all the sense in the world for the Eagles.  The only other option would be like a Washington from TCU.

25. Baltimore Ravens – Dez Bryant, WR, Oklahoma State

This is where Dez finally goes.  The Ravens will take chances and know they need to improve their passing game.  If you assume Joe Flacco will be better than you’ve got to give him some more weapons.

26. Arizona Cardinals – Sean Lee, ILB, Penn State

The Cardinals need an inside backer and for some reason Lee just feels like the kind of pick the Cards would make.

27. Dallas Cowboys – Kyle Wilson, CB, Boise State

Guys like Charles Brown and Brandon Spikes don’t seem sexy enough here.  So they go with a guy who’s probably at this point their highest rated player on the board.

28. San Diego Chargers – Ryan Mathews, RB, Fresno State

I don’t really like Mathews that much at the next level but it does seem like the obvious pick if he’s there.

29. New York Jets – Taylor Mays, S, USC

I think Rex Ryan is a cocky mofo and I think he’ll believe HE has the ability to ring out a level of performance from Mays that will match his physical talents.   Plus the addition of Jason Taylor makes a pass rushing DE or OLB less necessary this early.

30. Minnesota Vikings – Jared Odrick, DT, Penn State

This could very well Roger Saffold or Charles Brown and Devin McCourtey fits too but I think Odrick fills a need and really anchors what could become a pretty dominant D-Line.

31. Indianapolis Colts – Maurkice Pouncey, C/G, Florida

If Pouncey lasts this long I don’t see how the Colts pass him up.  They’ll find a tackle they can develop sometime in 2 or 3.

32. New Orleans Saints – Daryl Washington, OLB, TCU

It seems like the pick the Saints would make.  They have need at linebacker, they want to get faster, he fits their scheme despite my skepticism.

So there you have it.  If BK gets around to it, we’ll post his mock too and then log in for live blogs all weekend long during the 2010 NFL Draft!

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Well, I have run out of time.  With my mock draft due by noon tomorrow, its time to wrap up these final 3 positions in one blog post.  As BK might say, “It’s time to bring in the VO with the CG so let me have some of the PCP.”  Because BK has a very serious substance abuse problem and can get violent.

So without further adieu, let’s give it a roll:

TIGHT ENDS

Tight Ends, which less than a decade ago were basically being relegated to glorified fullbacks (blockers and outlets in the passing game) have re-emerged recently as legitimate pass threats in more offenses than I can shake a stick at.  This is because I don’t currently have a stick.

Perhaps this is a credit to players like Tony Gonzalez, Jeremy Shockey, Todd Heap & Antonio Gates who made offensive coordinators run plays for them.  Drafted Tight Ends have been pretty impressive recently – look at how many are major cogs in their offensive engines and I’m not even including last year’s only 1st round pick Brandon Pettigrew.

2008 – Dustin Keller (1st, Jets); John Carlson (2nd, Seahawks)
2007 – Greg Olson (1st, Bears); Zach Miller (2nd, Raiders); Kevin Boss (5th Giants); Brent Celek (5th, Eagles).
2006 – Vernon Davis (1st, 49ers); Owen Daniels (4th, Texans)

Let’s take a look at this year’s TOP 3 TIGHT ENDS.

Jermaine Gresham, Oklahoma
Probably the only TE going in the first round despite missing all of 2009.  The stove is getting hot around Gresham.  Solid all around physicals, he’s huge and looks healthy.  He’s a top 15 pick if he doesn’t miss his senior season.

Dennis Pitta, BYU
Really impressive combine numbers – I get excited when I see a 4.17 shuttle time.  I also get excited when I see a Hot Dog on a Stick.

Dorin Dickerson, Pittsburgh
A little undersized, but fast at 4.4 in the 40, he can jump through the roof, and a 6.96 3-cone-drill says one thing to me…SEAM PASS!  Granted, he had virtually no production in college and has switched around positions a lot, but I know another feller with a similar name who had a similar beginning – and that guys alright with me.

FULLBACKS

One word.

If you want to make it in this league as a fullback…you need them.  Some nice pumps don’t hurt either.

Don’t believe me, ask Madison Hedgecock.

The next position to re-emerge as relevant in NFL offenses will be fullback.  When was the last time a fullback really had an all-around impact on his team – Roger Craig?  Where have you gone Ron Springs.  Fullbacks are usually asked nowadays to just block.  I mean honestly, when you have to vote for Pro Bowl players do you recognize the name of any of the fullbacks other than an odd player here or there?  Pure fullbacks are less likely to get drafted than a kicker or punter these days and the following TOP 3 FULLBACKS are as likely to go undrafted as they are land a spot in Round 6 or 7.

John Conner, Kentucky
He’s a little graded down because of his 5’11 1/2 height and an injury history, but he’s got a nice variety of skills and would be a worthwhile pick in 6 or 7.  BK-o-Meter likes him too because he’s a little undersized but unlike BK, has crafty footwork.

Rashawn Jackson, Virginia
Along with Connor, the only other FB invited to the combines.  Not a lot to dislike here, not a lot to like.  Probably will get drafted but I wouldn’t spend a pick here just because there’s too much depth at other positions.

Cory Jackson, Maryland
Could be a steal as an UFA because he’s got good overall skills, leadership ability and tough as nails.

KICKERS & PUNTERS

Most teams either like their kicker or believe their as likely to find a kicker as a free-agent as they are to draft one.  And if you do spend a draft pick on a kicker or punter, it’s assumed that at the very least he’s going to have a chance to win a job or you’ve really wasted a pick because you’re not going to stash him away on the practice squad.

No kicker has been drafted above the 5th round since 2006.  In fact, only 5 kickers have been drafted in the first or second round in the last 30 years – the disappointing Mike Nugent (2nd in 2005, Jets); chubby Sebastien Janikowski (1st in 2000, Raiders); iron-man Jason Hansen (2nd in 1992, Lions), Chip Lohmiller (2nd in 1988, Redskins) and the epic bust that was UCLA’s John Lee (2nd in 1986, Cardinals).

Punters are respected even less by NFL executives come draft day.  Since the Saints infamous selection of Russell Erxleben with the 11th overall pick in 1979, only 2 punters have been selected as high as the 2nd round.  The excellent Rohn Stark (2nd in 1982, Colts) and the line-drive kicking Todd Sauerbrun (2nd in 1985, Bears).

Truth is, there doesn’t seem to be a kicker or punter in the 2010 crop of draftees who looks likely to be selected.  East Carolina Punter Matt Dodge seems to have the best chance to make it in the league and even that shot is long.  Bama’s Leigh Tiffin will get invited to a camp somewhere with Ohio State’s Aaron Pettrey the only other kicker even getting any sniff of buzz.

So instead of ranking players who aren’t going to get drafted, let’s hear from Virginia Tech Brent Bowden and his love of guitar.

BK-o-METER

BK is hot on the trail of a kicker and has gone to every pawn shop and soccer game he can find in his search.  His wife CK1 also has the kicker jones.  It’s because they cannot take the inconsistent Lawrence Tynes of the Giants any longer.  “I hate him.  I hate him.  I hate him,” screams CK1 every time I’m over at Villa de Sage to watch a Giants game with her and BK.  “Hey, I’m still in the room,” I respond (ba-dum-bum).   It’s an emotional response equivalent to those at a tea-party gathering threatening Iowa Senator Charles Grassley.  Grassley folded on health care and looks like a pussy but BK and CK1 ain’t folding on a kicker this year.  “Leigh Tiffin, I’ll take him…Matt Bosher, he’s mine.”  BK still felt one of the late round picks Giants GM Jerry Reese flushed down the toilet on DB’s who couldn’t play last year could have been spent on Wisconsin’s Taylor Mehlhaff.  “With a name like Mehlhaff, he has to be good.”  When I mentioned that Mehlhaff was part Scottish too, just like Tynes, BK responded “Hey, I’ve got nothing against the Scots.  I like Scottish eggs…I just wish they wouldn’t put that Dirty Jew Salmon Lox on them.”

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Move…the…chain…POP.

Is that a movie title starring Ron Jeremy and four nubile young ladies?  Of course not, that movie is called “Move the Train, Pop” and actually stars Ray Victory.

Just for explanation purposes Ben Affleck isn’t Ray Victory, but Amy did pull a train and has to carry Affleck in this scene.  Why exactly is Ben Affleck famous again?  I now know what the phrase, “Well if Ben Affleck can make it than I guess anyone really can be successful in Hollywood” means.

Move the chains is actually not a movie title – or a play on one – but rather the emotional phrase uttered by ex-Giants middle linebacker Michael Barrow during a game one Sunday afternoon.  The hard hitting, bible-thumping, Miami U graduatin’ (or at least attendin’), strategic thinkin’, and defensive-play callin’ middle linebacker had helped put the Giants in a position to win on Sunday afternoon.  But now it was up to the offense to get a few first downs and run out the clock.  Barrow, continuing to keep his head in the game, stood on the sidelines next to one of the officials holding the first down chain.  And every time the Giants got another 1st, Barrow would scream at the card-carrying AARP member “MOVE THE CHAINS, POP!”

And that’s what a great middle linebacker (or even inside linebacker in a 3-4 set) is all about.  The defensive QB, the run stopper, the competent pass defender (or perhaps more accurately in Antonio Pierce’s case – hard working pass defender who means well) and emotional leader on and off the field.

Look at the way Mike Singletary leads the 49ers – he pulled his fucking pants down in a team speech a few years ago and this time it WASN’T at a gay bath house in Frisco.  He was the man in the middle.

Look at the way Harry Carson has led the fight for pension benefits for ex-NFL players.  He was the man in the middle.

Look at the acting chops Dick Butkus shows in “My Two Dads.” He’s atrocious – but it wasn’t him – it was the material.  When partnered with a genius like Dangerfield – he shines over a defensive lineman like Bubba Smith.  Because he was the man in the middle.

This year’s crop of middle linebackers runs about as deep as BK’s collection of artisan breads (which today stands at 4 not including the now stale rasberry multi-grain enriched with flax, whey and Gu).

You’ve got to like Rolando McClain, Alabama’s 3rd-team All-American with smarts like Pierce, passion like Barrow and, if given the chance, Ellen Page like acting skills (because he can be wry, sarcastic and witty when discussing issues with officials…before he bumps them).  McClain is a big piece of rhubarb pie coming in at over 250lbs. with real strength and just a solid all-around game with no significant flaws.  Some do question his speed and wonder if he’ll be a liability in the passing game, but it hasn’t stopped his stock from rising with some even having him going in the Top 10, possibly to Oakland.

Brandon Spikes also has got a little Barrow in him with some questionable physicals.  A first-team All-America with good all-around skills he’s fallen behind McLain and slipped probably into the 2nd round because some question is overall game skills and playmaking ability.  But in the middle you need to be solid and a look around the league’s current crop of “effective” middle linebackers and there’s no reason Spikes can’t find a home somewhere.

I went ahead and projected Penn State’s Sean Lee on the outside so let’s wrap it up with a couple interesting physical prospects, Iowa’s athletic Patrick Angerer and Washington strong man Donald Butler.

BK loves Butler’s 35 reps not to mention his stout 6’1″, 245 lbs. frame.  But Butler’s play hasn’t always been sterling and he comes into the draft with minimal heat as some question his instincts for the position.

Angerer seems miscast on the inside at just 235 lbs. and an impressive 4.69 40 along with a workable 4.29 shuttle (SHUFFLE THOSE FEET!) but his 6’0″ frame seems to lock him on the inside.  More a backer in a 3-4 set than running the show in the middle Angerer was a 2nd team All-American for the upstart Hawkeyes last year and if he can maintain 3-down punishment he has the skillz to be a 3-down player.

BK-0-METER

BK doesn’t love a lot of men, especially after he paid off the last of his student loans in March of 2006 and wasn’t in such dire financial shape anymore.  But BK LOVED Dan Morgan coming out of the U in 2001.  “I don’t see anything he can’t do on the field,” gushed BK over the athletic and white Morgan. “He’s like the Sehorn of the linebacking corps but tries much much harder.” At first BK thought Morgan might slip to where the Giants sat at 31.  But as the draft drew closer it became clear Morgan was going in the Top 15 and the Giants only hope was a trade.  “It’s a deep year for corners,” reassured Ernie Accorssi to BK on a conference call.  “But we can package this year’s #1 and #3 plus next year’s #1 and get Morgan!” disagreed BK, growing more belligerent as the call progressed. (Other calls BK believes he had that never occurred, “Don’t trade every pick you have for him Ditka, I think Ricky likes the hash”; “It’s 1992 already Douglas Wilder, the country is ready for a black president”; and “No Bigelow, you can’t reverse cast – no one will buy Reeves as a cop and Swayze as a surfer.”).  BK’s thoughts were bold – the Giants had started the forgettable Ryan Philips the year before and made the Super Bowl in spite of it.  Morgan seemingly had the skills to play inside or out on either the strong or weak side.  He really could do it all and with Jesse Armstead and Barrow not getting any younger, BK could see the future.  But that trade never occurred…rather the Giants traded 9 spaces up to grab bling wearing corner Will Allen from the ‘Cuse (“You’re telling me they couldn’t have sweetened the pot a little more and gotten up to 10 to grab Morgan?’).  Unfortunately for Morgan, injuries and concussions have kept him off the field for too many games.  Allen, meanwhile, redefined what the phrase “soft coverage” means.  Once in a game against Dallas, the Cowboys lined up 33-year-old tight end Jackie Harris wide and Allen shifted over to cover him and gave him a 15-yard cushion.  At that stage in his career, Jackie Harris couldn’t run past Michael J. Fox post Parkinson’s but it didn’t matter to Allen, who not only allowed Harris an easy 8 yard catch but then waited for a linebacker to come over and help him finish off the tackle.

TOP 8 INSIDE LINEBACKERS

Rolando McClain, Alabama
I like what McClain brings to the table with substantial DDI’s and a nice score on the BK-o-Meter.

Brandon Spikes, Tennessee
BK-o-Meter not high, but DDI brings Spikes up.  I’d have him rated above Sean Lee too.

Patrick Angerer, Iowa
Neither BK or I can ignore the impressive all-around physicals, although BK has never liked those “lilly-livered soft Iowa farm-boys.”

Donald Butler, Washington
Despite the strength even the BK-o-Meter is quivering.  But he is intriguing.

Darryl Sharpton, Miami
Can you say “Sam Mills.” Try it…Ssssss…aaaaaa….mmmmm.  Good, and then…Muh…ill….ssssss.   Excellent.  Because he was a much better player than Sharpton will ever be.

Roddrick Muckelroy, Texas
Hottest new T-Shirt in town, “Why not Muckelroy?”

Jamar Chaney, Mississippi State
BK-o-Meter is actually unable to judge because it’s set to automatically reject anyone with the last name Chaney (which really hurt Lon Chaney’s chances last when the BK-0-Meter judged “Greatest Horror Stars pre-1950”).   But Jamar could really develop into something.  He’s fast at 4.54 40, strong with 26 reps and showed some flashy hip movement on the 3-cone drill.  He also went to Miss. State which means you better be a 3-4.

Kion Wilson, South Florida
Well, we’ve been mentioning a fair amount of South Florida guys so why not end with Kion.

BK LUCKY NUMBER 9

Ryan D’Imperio, Rutgers
You can take the kid out of Jersey, but you can’t take the Jersey out of the kid.  Or so said a hooker to BK after he tried to pay her with a coupon from Pisa Pizza, a bag of saltwater taffy and a promise to have his uncle’s construction company do a little work for her on the back porch.  “I don’t have a back porch,” rejected Shaquita, “Well then what did I just tap – OH SNAP,” retorted BK.  Interestingly enough, Ryan D’Imperio has a family member in the construction business because he’s from Jersey and his name is D’Imperio.


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Often times, when you judge offensive interior lineman, comparisons are made with Wrestlers.  The Grapplers.  Not Randy “Macho Man” Savage wrestling.  Not Ric Flair wrestling.

No, we’re talking about those guys in singlets, on mats, stinking of BO and BenGay.  One man, rolling around with another man.  Legs and arms locked in passionate embrace.  We’re talking…Louden Swain.

At least that’s what BK would claim.  Freestyle Wrestlers = Offensive Guards.  Greco Roman Wrestlers = Centers.  What do you think about that Arkansas G Mitch Petrus?  My guess he’s too busy tying the all-time bench press record at the combine to worry about all that wrestling bullshit.

Yeah, BK is always trying to connect some unrelated personal experience to that of high-tech, highly focused draft analysis.  “Oh No, I hurt my back, I need a steel rod put in, whoa is me” (Matt Tennant, Boston College); “Oh No, they didn’t pick me to win a magazine contest because some other kid submitted his entry using no capital letters or punctuation marks, whoa is me” (Joe Asamoah, Illinois); “Oh No, I really thought that Mexican stripper liked me but now she’s with another guy, whoa is me” (Sergio Render, Virginia Tech); “Oh No, the Daily Show didn’t think my clips were funny enough and now I’m stuck waiting tables in Red Bank, whoa is me” (Eric Olsen, Notre Dame); “Oh No, my mom keeps trying to make me purchase real estate in Manalapan but I still think the market’s overpriced, whoa is me” (Vladimir Ducasse, UMass).

Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say – enough with the wrestling references BK – why don’t we just watch this video about Idaho’s Mike Iupati and then go to the rankings.

BK-o-METER

It was tough sledding for the University of Minnesota’s Brian Williams after being drafted by the New York Super Bowl Bound Football Giants with the 18th overall pick in the 1989 NFL draft.  At the time it was thought that Williams would supplant the aging Pro Bowler Bart Oats.   Yet in his first 5 seasons in the league Williams, started only 8 games as the Giants basically split time between him and Oates while also occasionally sneaking him in at guard.  And then one Wednesday morning during training camp prior to the 1994 season Brian Williams was told a story.  It was about a spunky, short, prematurely balding high-school wrestler who a few years previously walked onto the mat to face the Brian Shute of New Jersey wrestling – the legendary Catholic Ron Sujohn.  That short spunky wrestler’s first few years in the trenches were as frustrating as Williams’ with the Giants.  Like Williams, he spent time on the bench, he battled injuries, he got action a little bit here and there.  He had been pinned more times than Annabelle Chong and like Chong, he was given no chance to become a respectable member of society.  But one day, in a cramped, humid and sweaty gym, that spunky wrestler rose to the occassion and showed the world that maybe, just maybe, for just this one time, HE TOO could be the star.  And on that night, that spunky wrestler BEAT Ron Sujohn.  And his name…B-K.  Upon hearing that story, Brian Williams would rededicate himself to the sport and emerge as the Giants best offensive lineman and one of the best centers in the league starting 56 games over the next 4 years before injuries derailed his career.  In an ironic twist of fate, BK would end up losing in the first round of the State Tournament that same year and never wrestled again.

TOP 8 CENTERS/GUARDS

Mike Iupati, Idaho
Up until this week, I had Pouncey rated ahead of Iupati but as I take a closer look it’s awfully hard to make that argument.  Iupati can start right now.

Maukrice Pouncey, Florida
The thought is he’s not ready to be an NFL center right now, but he has Pro Bowl skills and at the very least he should be able to slide in and start at guard somewhere.

John Jerry, Ole Miss
This guy’s got bloodlines that make the Manning’s blush.  Two cousins in the league and his brother was drafted first last year.  If he’s there in the late 2nd he’s a good grab.

Jon Asamoah, Illinois
I’ve got no problem with Jon other than the fact that he leaves the “h” out of his first name and he didn’t perform at the combines which makes him a NFWTFDJOATHI on the BK-o-Meter (Non-Factor Who The Fuck Does Jon Asamoah Think He is).

Vladimir Ducasse, UMass
Lots of buzz around this 332 pound glass of Haitian Re-Inforced Concrete.  But he’s as raw as sushi in Nebraska and frankly I like my guards to jump higher than 26 inches.

Shaun Lauvao, Arizona State
I don’t know a lot about Shaun Lauvao, but I do know that the version of the national anthem Demi Lovato sang before a football game last year was TERRIBLE.

J.D. Walton, Baylor
The only other true center on the board who merits a mention.  He muscled an impressive 34 reps at the combine.

Mike Johnson, Alabama
Upon entering UofA, he had a 4.0 GPA and hit it with a 27 on the ACT.  However sometimes intelligence can play against you as he may overthink run blocking schemes and try to redesign them during a play.

BK LUCKY NUMBER 9

Matt Tennant, Boston College

BK is all over Boston College center Matt Tennant because he shows “a UFC-like Intensity” and “knows how to play in a phone booth” which could come in handy for him after he’s cut in practice by whoever nabs him in the 6th round and he needs to apply for a job with AT&T.

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North Dallas Forty.  The Replacements.  Invincible.  Brian’s Song.  Paper Lion.  Heaven Can Wait.  Weapons of Mass Distraction.  Any Given Sunday.

And what did these movies get us?  Nick Nolte as Wide Receiver?

Warren Beatty as a Quarterback?

And a depressing speech from Al Pacino?

What all these movies lack is a real “feel” for football.  A real dramatic version of NFL Films with kick and verve and Hope Sandoval attitude.

That’s right, I’m bringing out the Mazzy Star references.  Because was Mazzy Star a good band?  EH.  And could Jamie Foxx fix a hitch in his throwing motion to make it in the league?  No chance.  And can Gene Hackman pull off a comical performance as a head football coach in a largely forgettable movie?  You’re God Damn right he can, don’t let BK tell you any different.

There has never been a great football movie because football movies need less of Al Pacino posing and pretending to fuck Elizabeth Berkely and more stuff like this:

A great football movie needs to somehow combine the intricate elements that will make football fans love it and non-football fans appreciate and be fascinated by it.  “Any Given Sunday” actually I think had that most in mind but it’s undone by it’s Writer/Director who didn’t recognize what he had and instead wanted to make it seem bigger.

But a few years back, as Hollywood lore goes, there was a great script for a great football movie.  Oh yes, my friends, it existed.  And it focused not on the Quarterback, or the Coach, or the Owner, or the Crazy Linebacker.

It focused on very possibly the most unsung player on the field.  It focused on the Cornerback.  In the case of the legendary, never-produced, not quite finished and in fact barely started script, it focused on an undersized, undrafted kid with hops and punt returning jiggles and shakes from a small college in Sacramento.

And while that script never made it to the big screen, I was so enthralled by its potential,  that my passion for the position of cornerback now runs deep.

Because when you’re locked down on a receiver one-on-one and fans watching at home DON’T see what you do – that means you’ve done your job.  No one in the NFL gets less TV time than the Jets Darrelle Revis.  Because he’s always locked down on his man and his guy is seldom open.  Even if the receiver he’s covered breaks way both the quarterback and Offensive Coordinator have already given up on his side and rejiggered their offensive philosophy to basically play with 10.

However, in most instances the theory of the shut down corner is overrated.  There are very few shut down corners.  There was a time when ex-Giant Jason Sehorn was considered a shut down corner.  Then he winked during the National Anthem before the start of the 2001 Super Bowl, got burned by Brandon Stokely, married an actress from Law & Order and spent the final years of his career being bitched slapped by more quarterbacks than Ben Roethlisberger’s been slapped with sexual harassment suits.

The truth is stick any corner on an island one-on-one with a solid NFL receiver and a decent NFL quarterback and at some point he’s going to get beat.  Plus defenses, from various pass rushing stunts to multiple zone coverages, are designed often to specifically prevent a cornerback from having to spend too much time going mano-y-mano with any one receiver.

NFL defenses are like your car radio dial.  It’s designed for you to only have to listen to just so much Colin Cowherd before your skin literally begins to crawl off of your body and you instinctively switch the dial to Christian Rock because even Christian Rock starts to sound good after 6 1/2 minutes of Cowherd.  Your radio dial is like the free safety coming over to help.  You just don’t have to go one-on-one that long if you’re a corner in the NFL.


The crop of 2010 cornerbacks is highlighted by Florida Gator Joe Haden, who’s physicals are good enough when compounded by what looks like near picture perfect technique.  Haden is the only corner who’s really projected to be another Revis, although I’m not sure SEC conference mate Kareen Jackson from Alabama is all that far behind.  He’s considered a little more raw and his 13 reps literally made BK vomit.  But he’s quicker than a cat on speed and looks to have even more room to develop than Haden.  Although granted that maybe that’s just because he’s not as good.

I’m all over Rutgers’ Devin McCourtey – a fast riser who might just yet sneak into the end of Round 1.  McCourtey runs a sub 4.5 40 and managed NOT to be called out very much in a fairly prolific Big East conference.  Plus he can return kicks and he drinks like a fish and one of his brothers is a Boston Cop and another is a Priest and another is a mobster who talks like Matt Damon with an accent.  Okay, he’s not really Irish but if we was that would be like totally how it is.

It’s hard not to be impressed with the physicals on Florida States Patrick Robinson, who goes 4.42 in the 40, skies high at 39 inches and can read and break off a pass to nab an interception quicker than Ashton Kutcher can punk an actress who 2 years from now we’ll forget ever existed.

And speaking of physicals, what in the world to make of the Dez Bryant of cornerbacks – Chris Cook.  In a world of 5’10, 190lbs. players Cook has a Sehorn like body coming in at 6’2″, 212 lbs” and still motors and flies – 4.46 40, 38″ vert, 11″ broad – but only pulled off 7 reps at the combine?  Just because he missed the entire year at V-Tech shouldn’t have tapped his strength.  The BK-o-Meter, which was climbing steadily on Cook, fell so dramatically after his performance in the weight room that it broke and he had to replace it with a migrant farm worker from Oxnard on furlough for 3 days until the meter was fixed.

Finally, Boise State Kyle Wilson is generating some heat and has a strong shot of going in Round 1 and BK likes him because of those 25 reps, but my guess is the speed isn’t all there and just because Boise State was good doesn’t mean their competition in the Big West was.

BK-0-METER

The greatest football movie never made was – and this might be a surprise to you – a script worked on by myself and a little guy named BK.  But we could never pull the storyline all the way together and disagreed on some integral characters.  While we both enjoyed meshing out the character of white lightning Wide Receiver Tyke Tannenbaum, we had disagreements over how large a role Quarterback Sandy Lassiter should play.  In an unrelated note, Mark Collins is both BK and my all-time favorite Giant cornerback.

TOP 10 CORNERBACKS

Joe Haden, Florida
Universally considered the cream-o-the crop and BK-o-Meter is quite high.

Kareem Jackson, Alabama
He may be a little soft and has his moments, but if he puts in the work he could find his way to Hawaii.  Not for the Pro Bowl, which is now in Miami, but to Hawaii where he can spend his bonus check on a lovely luau and rent a scooter to ride around the big island.

Devin McCourty, Rutgers
I may have been kidding about his non-existent Irish heritage,  but I wasn’t kidding when I said his DDI’s mad rock bitch.

Patrick Robinson, Florida State
Very solid all around player, he could be considered the #2 corner behind Haden if only his hips were more fluid.

Amari Spievey, Iowa
Nothing wrong with this Spievey kid despite his effeminate name.

Kyle Wilson, Boise State
The BK-o-Meter says he can play, but the DDI says not so much.

Jerome Murphy, South Florida
The interesting thing about South Florida is it’s not located in the southern part of Florida.  Does Jerome Murphy know this?  If so, I give him a chance to succeed.  If not, he’s fucked.

Perrish Cox, Oklahoma State
He’s a good player but there’s nothing special here and the BK-o-Meter agrees.  Then again, the BK-o-Meter also said Huckabee takes Texas, Celtic Pride is box office gold and tech stocks will never stop climbing.

Walter Thurmond, Oregon
Nate Thurmond was an undersized- banger in the NBA for years, primarily with the Golden State Warriors, who was named one of the 50 greatest players of all time.  Later after he retired he opened up a BBQ restaurant.  Walter Thurmond once had BBQ ribs at The Screen Door in Portland, which makes an amazing oatmeal pancake btw.

Chris Cook, Virginia
It wouldn’t seem like he’s going to make it, but if he does slip into round 3 don’t you have to take him at that point?

BK LUCKY NUMBER 11

Javier Arenas, Alabama
I don’t like to crowd the ratings on the BK-o-Meter or BK’s thoughts on players by actually talking with BK and getting his thoughts.  If I wanted to talk about everything BK didn’t know, we’d be here all day.  Did I use that line already in another blog post?  But BK made mention that Javier is a spunky short guy who could be (and I quote) “the next Kevin Dockery.”  Wow that’s encouraging.  That’s like saying a new soda could be the next Cactus Cooler.

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Has any position fallen more in perceived high pick value recently than that of Running Back?  Draftniks now speak of running backs almost like they’re talking about interior offensive lineman: “You can develop a good one”, “No need to spend a high pick on one”, “The value is low because every team now no longer has a feature back,” “How did Christina Hendricks get voted best looking woman in America with DW and Candy K. still on the board?”

Between 2002-2004, no running back was drafted higher than Boston College bust William Green.  And though recently some backs have been picked up in the Top 10, only the Vikes Adrian Peterson really came with that “feature back” buzz around him.  The likes of Ronnie Brown, Reggie Bush and Darren McFadden were looked upon more like Hybrid guys – runners slash receivers slash returners slash Kim Kardashian booty calls.

Between 1990-99, 11 running backs were selected in the Top 10 and included names like Tommy Vardell (9th to Cleveland ’92), Lawrence Phillips (6th to the Rams in ’96), Tim Biakabatuka (8th to Carolina in ’96) and the Penn State three – Blair Thomas (2nd by the Jets in ’90 and 15 picks ahead of Emmitt Smith), Ki-Jana Carter (1st by the Bengals in ’95) and Curtis Ennis (5th by the Bears in ’98).  It’s not that all the RB picks drafted that high were busts during this time – SDSU’s gentlemanly Marshall Faulk was nabbed by the Colts 2nd overall in ’94.  But it’s striking how many other better running backs were selected later.  GM’s understandably had to begin to think that predicting the  success of a running back was as big a crapshoot as predicting the success of a quarterback – except with a RB there was really a lot less to gain so therefore why waste such a high pick.

In 1987, I loved the running backs on the board.  Alonzo Highsmith was the do-it-all back from the U; Brent Fullwood was a runner’s runner from Auburn, D.J. Dozier was a power back with hop from can’t miss Penn State, Rod Bernstein was going to create a whole new Running Back/Tight End position from Texas A&M, while Clemson’s Terrance Flagler was too fast to fail.  Each and everyone would bust.  But my favorite back that year was Temple’s little firecracker Paul Palmer.

When you think of colleges churning out great college football players, you probably don’t think of Philadelphia’s Temple University.  Between 1991-99, the Temple Owls football team won 15 times while losing 84 times.  I haven’t seen a percentage that poor since BK’s attempt to get a woman to dance with him back in ’96 on a visit to the Rum Jungle at Mandalay Bay.

Yet despite the Owls ineptitude on the field, Paul Palmer was piling up yardage.  In fact when Paul Palmer left Temple, he had racked up the 6th most yards in college football history with close to 4,900.  Although smaller than ideal, Paul could do it all – run, pass, with sneaky bits of speed bursts that exploded like Pop Rocks in your mouth.

But Palmer was a bomb in the pros.  The Chiefs, who just two (2) years early had drafted a bust running back in Ethan Horton, busted again with Palmer and he too was out of Kansas City after 2 just seasons despite showing some signs of life as a kick returner and 3rd down back.  He spent one forgettable year in Detroit before being out of the league.  An aborted comeback attempt saw an already past his prime Palmer not even reach the heights of mediocrity for 2 years with Barcelona in the now defunct WLAF and that was that.

Yet amazingly, things weren’t that bad for the Chiefs.  In the 2nd round they drafted Christian Okoye who would turn out to be one of the better backs in the league for a couple of years and rushed for over 4500 more yards in his career than the erstwhile Palmer.  And thus planted yet another seed that is still being sown today regarding the gradual downgrading of the running back position in the NFL draft.

So whether it was the infamous Penn State 3 (and it really should be 4 if you count Dozier), the overdrafting of Paul Palmer or the casting of O.J. Simpson as a former running back turned executive turned murderer T.D. Parker on the HBO series’ “First and Ten”, this once sexy position is as moribund as O.J.’s search for the real killers.

That show never was the same after they replaced Burke with Tweed.

This year, there’s only 1 running back guaranteed to go in the 1st round and he also falls into the more versatile all-around category as opposed to every down back.  Still, C.J. Spiller is flat out one of the five (5) best players in this year’s draft.  A combination of Darren Sproles meeting DeAngelo Williams meeting Jamie Oliver after he’s helped teach a school full of inner city kids the importance of good nutrition, Spiller can eat catch the ball out of the back field and slice through defenders all why making fresh pasta and sprinkling it with spinich he learned to grow in the Botany class he audited his freshman year at Clemson.

Spiller should have been invited to the Heisman ceremony as he had a better year than that douche Tim Tebow and his blistering 40 time at the combines…well that just merits another look.

However, I must admit I don’t think Spiller is necessarily worth a Top 10 pick – although it’s fine if someone selects him there.  I say that because I see C.J. as more Sproles than DeAngelo – a terrific kick returner and specialty backer but not someone who’s going to get anymore carries than a Reggie Bush.  He needs to be in the right situation, but he’s still by far the #1 back in the draft.

Only two (2) other backs, Fresno State’s Ryan Mathews and Cal’s Jahvid Best also have any chance of making a first round appearance.  I don’t see it with Mathews, who rushed for 1,808 yards in the wide-open WAC last year but doesn’t strike me as having anything unique enough to be more than a back-up and specials guy.  Best, on the other hand, I thought might catapult into the first round despite an injury-plagued college career with a strong combine that actually saw him record a faster 40 time than Spiller (4.35 vs. 4.37) not to mention shuttle and cone drill results that made me get off my couch, pull up my pants and take notice.  But concern’s about his durability and even his size seem to lower his ranking.

Size, along with where he fits and some of his physicals, also will hold Ole Miss RB Dexter McCluster to Round 2 or 3 as well while USC’s Joe McKnight will try to rebound from a somewhat disappointing college career.  Someone will take a gamble on McKnight and while there’s a part of me that thinks maybe just maybe he was underutilized at SC and he’ll find a home and superior career in the NFL, there’s another part of me that thinks McKnight just wasn’t that good.  Then again there’s a third part of me that thinks women should never wear the color blue and a fourth part of me that insists that the next Governor of the great state of California should actually be the three-headed monster of Wahoo Fish Taco founders Eduardo Lee, Mingo Lee and Wing Lam.

How much you wanna bet Wing fucked Ashley right after that?  I’ll bet you two fish tacos (mild) and an order of baja rolls – and I’d win.

A look at this year’s Running Backs wouldn’t be complete witout a gander at Toby Gerhart of Stanford who had a breakthrough senior season to finish 2nd in the Heisman voting and, to the shock of some, actually did okay at the NFL Combines.  However, his “good enough” performance (as fast as Mathews in the 40 and in the Top 5 among all RB’s in the bench and in his vert) has GM’s who thought Gerhart might be “worth the risk” in Rounds 4-6 now faced with “having” to take him in 2 or 3 when maybe they’d just prefer wait for strong man Ben Tate or Oregon wild child LeGarrette Blount later in the draft.  My guess is that’s exactly what happens.  Teams weigh their options come the end of the 2nd/early 3rd and decide that even though this isn’t a particularly deep running back class, taking a higher ranked player at another position and taking a chance on who’s around a few rounds later at RB will look appealing if Gerhart’s the best that’s left.  That’s why my guess is Mr. Toby ends up hanging around until Day 3.

BK-o-METER

Because of the likes of Terrell Davis (the LATE 6th round grab by the Denver Broncos) and Curtis Martin (all-time value as a 3rd round pick of the Pats), the 1995 draft for Running Backs is able to overcome the fact that out of the five (5) backs taken in the first round – including Carter and Heisman trophy winner (and probably overly dissed as a bust) Rashaan Salaam – the draft was a hodgepodge of up-and-down careers.  For the Giants that year, the debate came down to Salaam and Michigan’s Tyrone Wheatley, who BK saw as “the next Rodney Hampton” but with more speed and (quoting BK verbatim here) “zippity doo dah.”  However, Giants coach Dan Reeves had his southern heart set on Salaam but eventually lost out to upper management who selected him despite his protestations.  Of course just because the Giants selected Wheatley didn’t mean Reeves had to play him and that’s just what he didn’t do.  He never let him be the feature back.  In Wheatley’s first four (4) years with the Giants he ran the ball exactly as many times as Curtis Martin ran the ball with the Patriots in his rookie season – 368.  This infuriated BK, who already had an issue with Southern Baptist’s following an incident involving legendary toll booth Tosser Tommy K. and a bad run-in with a Stuckey’s PB&J at an exit just outside of Charleston back in ’84.  “What the fuck,” spewed BK, “I mean really, what…the…fuck,” when new coach Jim Fassell ran Wheatley just 14 times in 1998.  “How can you hand the ball off to Gary Brown and that Dave Meggett fucking wanna and never gonna be Tiki Barber when you’ve got 235 pounds of Pro Bowl potential just sitting on the bench!” When the Giants traded Wheatley, he vowed that the G-Men would rue the day and for much of the 2000 season they did as Wheatley rushed for over 1,000 years for the Raiders.  But as time went on, Wheatley’s weight played havoc with his ability to stay on the field and BK eventually named his dog after Tiki Barber, although he kept his name for his penis the same – The Big Wheat.

TOP 10 RUNNING BACKS

C.J. Spiller, Clemson
Exactly what he becomes is still unclear, but he will be an impact player at the next level.

Jahvid Best, California
Basically a poor man’s Spiller, he probably makes it as some kind of hybrid guy too and he’ll be more impactful than ex-Cal Bear Marshawn Lynch.

Ben Tate, Auburn
I see Marion Barber like potential here and as long as he’s not drafted by the Cowboys or Eagles, he can’t possibly turn into as big a prick.  BK-o-Meter really likes his physicals.

Montario Hardesty, Tennessee
You need to be careful not to overestimate physicals no matter what the BK-o-Meter reads but if he stays healthy then all his combine results, his character and his play when he was on to the field point to him possibly being the 2nd best back in this draft.

Dexter McCluster, Mississippi
Let’s hear if for the little guys.  I’m going to wear a shift on draft day that simply says “Why not McCluster?” Actually, my shirt’s going to say “Clipper Nation” because when I was a season ticket holder a few years back to the L.A. Clippers and they made the playoffs they handed those shirts off before every home game – so I’ve got like 12 of them.

Ryan Mathews, Fresno State
I don’t think Mathews makes a big impact at the next level, but at this point you’d be hard-pressed to find anything better.  Sort of like making The Hurt Locker best picture…oh wait, UP was better.

Anthony Dixon, Mississippi State
A slow 40 time at the combine doesn’t scare me because if you can play you can play.  And not much scares me – not the KFC Double Down, not another movie directed by Greg Araki, not even another sold-out comedy show by Dane Cook.  Because if Dane Cook can get 20,000 people to laugh at a non-joke simply by saying the word “Sangwich” than Anthony Dixon has a place in the National Football League.

Jonathan Dwyer, Georgia Tech
I kinda like Dwyer with his strong DDI and surprising BK-o-Meter read.  This could be the year Georgia Tech rises from being whatever it was before this year.

Joe McKnight, USC
I’ve got to start grading these USC guys down and McKnight is a good place to start.

Toby Gerhart, Stanford
I don’t really think he’ll make it in the league, but then again who else can I put in the Top 10.  Like a former CEO once said to me when describing the new head of marketing, “Well, you know, she’s as good as we could get,” of which I responded, “That’s what they said about you.” She was fired a year later.

BK LUCKY NUMBER 13

Lonyae Miller, Fresno State
“Better than Mathews,” BK belted after exiting the bathroom with a copy of Football America in his left hand.  Most of his combine numbers were slightly above that of teammate Ryan Mathews, but it was his first name of Lonyae that really captured BK’s attention.  “I once masturbated to Loni Anderson while watching an episode of WKRP,” reminisced BK.  “It was a moment of pure bliss and joy – just me, my dick in my right hand and a turkey rolley sammy in my left.”  When I informed BK I preferred to pleasure myself to Bailey, he curtly responded “Who the fuck is Bailey?  Now shut-up and get me a sandwich.”

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